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[mrballisticsdummy]

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[epistemological]

That gets a very firm nod. The comment about his name makes his eyes roll, even if that stings like the dickens given how he died.

"I do tend to find myself among many a Mike," he admits, thinking back. Though he doesn't like associating Mike with Crew or Michael Shelley. Mike had been dead, as everyone was on the Galley who was a prisoner, but it still-

"And you would have to- well, there's a complicated reason for that, which I know but which... which feels unfair to go telling to everyone. But-" a deep breath, "yes, there is... there is Martin. W-w-which is further complicated by the fact that I never got the chance to tell him about-"

He glances over at Jacobi.

"...I'm going to talk to him about it. But..." and he puts a finger over his lips. Please?

[mrballisticsdummy]

"My loyalty has always been with you," he assures him, finding his hand and squeezing it gently.

"For - what it's worth, Jon, I don't - mm...blame you? No, that sounds bad. I mean, I understand it." Jacobi could never and would never have anyone but Warren, but he knows that they are a bit of an outlier in the realm of relationships.

That doesn't mean he can't understand the other side of it.

"Anyway, tell me about him."

[epistemological]

He's quiet for a moment as he considers how to approach... all of this.

"...I've been thinking on it for a time. This place... he's never much liked it. And Elias coming here had been the last straw. For him, he's- he's stayed here for me." He glances over at Jacobi. "But for me, this place is..."

He leans a little more against Jacobi, pointedly.

"My life is here. People from all manner of worlds and places..." a soft huff, "that's where- that's where the only 'family' I have is, the only true friends. Even- Even Tim and I only really came to be... came to be proper friends without a wall between us here. I want to save my world but..."

He shakes his head.

"I don't want to live in it. I don't think a 'normal' life is ever in the cards for me. And I don't- I don't want it to be."

He swallows again and comes back around to the question.

"Mike was..." a low chuckle, "well, frankly, he's a bastard. But- but a rather delightful bastard. It wasn't-" he turns a hand, "I wasn't looking for anything like- it was only a few days in, after all. Hopeless or not, it's just never been much of a priority for me. But he was actually rather aggressive to start. He didn't understand why he... why he felt more real around me."

[mrballisticsdummy]

Jacobi knows that feeling all too well. Of finding a home here. Finding his people. He props his head on his arm, watching him as he explains.

"Delightful bastards make up most of your friend group. Including yours truly. So that isn't actually a shock."

He gestures for him to go on.

[epistemological]

"...I have actually noticed that, yes," he says with a snort that he regrets immediately. Bloody death toll. Stupid bloody shot to the head.

"But, um, once we... Once we cleared things up a bit, once I explained and he... well, I more 'read' him than anything. But after that, he was- he sort of took... Took hold of me. Took... Responsibility for me. Wanted to look after me and felt as if- well, as if I was a bit of luck. I... made things better for him, not worse. And he was- he was very gentle, but just with me."

[mrballisticsdummy]

He can't help that simultaneous jolt of jealousy and gratitude. Someone was looking after Jon. But it wasn't, and couldn't be, Jacobi.

He doesn't know what Mike's fate was and he doesn't know how he'd find out, but he hopes it was positive. Anyone who made Jon feel that way is deserving of good things.

"Good. I'd kick his ass otherwise," is what he chooses to say. Softly. "But now what? Ice cream and bad movies? A rebound relationship? A dramatic haircut?"

[epistemological]

A rebound relationship?

Ha.

"Probably not ice cream. Bad movies, certainly. And-" he laughs, then winces; stupid headache.

"I'm reasonably certain no one on board at the moment had any interest. Not anyone on board anymore anyway."

...is he going to tell about Dorian? He might.

[mrballisticsdummy]

Jacobi doesn't say that he's thought about it once or twice. That if his entire heart and self wasn't Warren's that he might have tried himself. It's a shameful secret, one that he's quite certain anyone close to him, Warren included, recognizes.

That stays tucked deeply away in a place he doesn't want access to.

"Not anyone on board anymore? So there was? At a time?"

[epistemological]

And that Jon never will. You have to be pretty obvious with Jon on that particular thing.

But he ducks his head in a nod.

"Dorian. He, er, he kissed me just before he left. It hardly means anything since he's gone now."

[mrballisticsdummy]

Jacobi turns skeptical. "Dorian who helped cause the Elias shitstorm?"

Jacobi might have cooled, but he didn't forget.

[epistemological]

There's a slight cough.

"...by confessing his feelings for me. That was what Elias convinced him to do to distract me."

[mrballisticsdummy]

"So he used his feelings to manipulate you into distraction."

And he instantly feels bad about saying it.

He grumbles. "I know. That's not fair. Fuck it." Another grumble. "I'm sorry he's gone, though. If he - made you happy."

[epistemological]

"He's-" and he breathes out, "he's a friend. I never let myself think past that, considering. The only reason any of it sort.of... slipped by is the situation and, er, the uniqueness of, um, everything with Mike."

A soft huff.

"And you're not wrong. He... He hurt me and he apologized, actually apologized if you can believe that. It's... Complicated."

[mrballisticsdummy]

"There's also the fact that you're a damn idiot when it comes to people wanting to be your friend, let alone anything else."

And Martin, but Jacobi isn't touching that mess. He likes him, but Jon is his. And if he has to pick a side in whatever happens, then he might as well start now.

He sits up. "Can you stomach some water? It might help your head. And...everything else."

[epistemological]

"Yes, well, I- it's not as if I've had much practice before now."

It's a lame excuse and be knows it, but such is life. Though when it comes right down to it, Jon would prefer no 'sides'. He still cares for Martin a great deal. Life just... happens sometimes.

"I suppose I should probably hydrate, yes."

[mrballisticsdummy]

Life for Jacobi is still sides. It's something he doesn't ever think he'll be able to shake. He just knows how to hide it better.

He leaves Jon for the moment and returns with water, which he holds out to him expectantly.

"Drink it. I promise I didn't put anything in it."

[epistemological]

He raises an eyebrow.

"Why would you put anything into it?"

The idea hadn't even occurred to him, and he'll take it and start swallowing it down slowly as he makes room on the bed for Jacobi to join him again.

[mrballisticsdummy]

"I wouldn't," he says with a playful, almost teasing, smirk as he crawls back into bed beside him.

"If you go to sleep, I'll stay," he promises him. "I feel - like a kid at a sleepover. Not something you have experience with, nerd. I know. Might as well start now."

[epistemological]

"I thought you're supposed to do 'fun' things during such events," he points out as he continues to sip, "as opposed to myself. And I'm going to fall over soon."

[mrballisticsdummy]

"Yeah, play video games and get fucked up. Steal my dad's liquor and fill it up with water. But we can just skip all that and get straight to collapsing in a heap because one of us can't hold his booze and the other one is just goddamn tired," he explains.

[epistemological]

A pause.

"I wouldn't be opposed to the games." And there's a long pause. "You might actually beat me at Mario Kart."

Oooooooooo.

[mrballisticsdummy]

"Fuxk you," he laughs. "Finish your water and I'll get it set up."

He's not exactly happy to leave him again, but he hesitantly starts to pull away. "And don't get up. I'll help you in a second. If you fall and break your head, Tim might legitimately kill me."

[epistemological]

"Tim would hardly." He says it blithely, amused at the idea. "As he's well aware whose fault that would be. It would just unbreak anyway, to be fair."

Though notice how he's staying put.

[mrballisticsdummy]

"He would hardly because he can't anyway," he tells him, turning on the television and getting it set up before returning to Jon and holding out a hand.

"Let's go, sleeping beauty."

[epistemological]

He pushes himself up and out of the bed as he reaches for Jacobi's hand. He takes it with a firmer grip as he gets to his feet.

"...bloody head shot," he grumbles as he starts moving.

"You haven't mentioned how things went on your ship. I've just been blathering on."