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[mrballisticsdummy]

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[mrballisticsdummy]

Why are you so obsessed with me?

Jon. I got pissed at you because you keep pushing this narrative that doesn't exist.

[epistemological]

Believe me this is not obsessed.

What narrative?

[mrballisticsdummy]

Oh my god, please get some culture.

The narrative that people actually care outside their own sphere.

[epistemological]

Either offer to show me the whatever you’re referencing or shut up about it.

Projecting your coping mechanisms on others doesn’t make it true.

[mrballisticsdummy]

I'll show you when I'm out.

Look, I know I'm doing the 'well, why can you care about people but other people can't care about you' thing. I know I am.

If I knew how to stop, I definitely would.

[epistemological]

Start by accepting it's possible, even if you don't understand it.

[mrballisticsdummy]

Wow. So wise, Jon. Thanks for that.

I'll put it in my inspo journal.

[epistemological]

You asked a question and I answered. Or did you think I hadn't done this myself?

[mrballisticsdummy]

Definitely didn't ask a question.

But you're not me.

If you were, you'd be more handsome.

[epistemological]

You were shitty in a way requesting an answer. There. Accuracy.

If I were you, I probably wouldn't have been nearly eaten alive by flesh-eating worms either. Point?

[mrballisticsdummy]

Oh probably. And you'd be a lot less likable. Or more. I can't tell.

Though maybe you would have been sucked into a star. That seems your luck.

You're taking up all of my break times. I hope you know that.

[epistemological]

Funny you say that, as I've actually devoured a star once. Of a kind, at least.

And you're the one answering and you're 'pissed' with me so I'm either more amusing or I'm the only one in the queue.

[mrballisticsdummy]

I was pissed at you twelve hours ago.

Not many people beating down my door to talk to me.

Go to sleep, Jon. You'll keep the boyfriend awake.

[epistemological]

He's taking the dog for a walk. Or did you think we were to bed at nine o'clock?

[mrballisticsdummy]

I imagine more boring things for your life. So that fits in nicely to the story I've constructed about you.

[epistemological]

Do go on. I'm sure this will be ridiculous.

[mrballisticsdummy]

I have suddenly found myself with a lot more thinking time. So yes. It is ridiculous. Strap in.

You wake up early. Do something exceptionally British like drink tea while staring longing at a picture of the Queen. Then it's off to the library to sit around and help people find whatever stupid shit comes into their brains. And then you come home, watch a terrible documentary about fish or the types of sand in the Sahara, and then it's off to bed at around eight after a long day.

[epistemological]

Other than the Queen, who I'm not discussing if we're going to have a civil discussion of any sort that isn't me ranting for an hour and a half about the absolute bullshit waste of taxes that is the 'royal family', and the choice of documentaries and the bed time... it's not entirely off.

[mrballisticsdummy]

Oh shit, really?

Please get a life.

[epistemological]

I'm just fine with my lack of one, thank you. Boring is a luxury when you're mostly trying to avoid your fifth kidnapping a

GODDAMMIT

[mrballisticsdummy]

??

[epistemological]

Would you, or would you not, consider it being 'kidnapped' to have been beaten until unconsciousness (for whatever reason) and stashed in a cupboard to be interrogated later?

[mrballisticsdummy]

Yes?

You have completely lost me.

[epistemological]

So you would consider it a kidnapping?

[mrballisticsdummy]

Kidnapping is literally just taking someone and holding them captive.

So yes.