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[mrballisticsdummy]

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[ukan]

[It all does circle back around to the way Alec was raised. Literally bred and raised.]

He's complex. And he spent twenty-two years having to hide his thoughts from people who would literally burn out his happy memories with a laser if he didn't. As well as I know him, a lot of our serious conversations are me waiting for him to be able to talk.

[mrballisticsdummy]

And he's not yet able to?

[ukan]

No. I'm not exactly full of conversation right now either.

How has Warren been with you?

[mrballisticsdummy]

He's Warren. We've been together for six years.

So, of course he's fucking perfect.

But - he doesn't know how to help me like he normally does.

[ukan]

Do you know what would help you? Because I haven't figured that out for myself.

[mrballisticsdummy]

Yeah. But what I think will help me won't help anyone else and might actively make it worse.

But I don't think it actually helps.

[ukan]

A good fight?

[mrballisticsdummy]

Blowing this ship apart until it's nothing but splinters in a vacuum.

[ukan]

What, with us on board?

[mrballisticsdummy]

I did say it doesn't help. I'd never do it. It's inefficient and sloppy and reactive.

But think of it like...the extreme version of throwing a plate against the wall.

[ukan]

[A small nod] I helped someone try to wreck the ship, once. I didn't want to die, I didn't want anyone else to die. I was just so tired of nothing else I was doing mattering.

[mrballisticsdummy]

Yeah.

Yeah, that. It gets tedious.