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[mrballisticsdummy]

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[14thcommander]

Hi there... [With a playful lilt to it:] new kid.

[mrballisticsdummy]

[Sigh.]

Hello yourself. I know you know who I am, so you don't have to pretend not to. Makes things go a little faster that way.

[14thcommander]

I know a bit about you. Warren's been talking?

[mrballisticsdummy]

You know what Warren's told you about me.

And talking is what he's good at.

[14thcommander]

Warren likes to talk! But I don't expect I'd get the whole picture from another person's description.

Am I your first temporary warden?

[mrballisticsdummy]

Yup.

Lucky you.

So what's first? A trust fall? We go on a nature walk? You ignore me for a month until the next one?

[14thcommander]

I like to spend time with my temps to see if our personalities gel! Sometimes a lot of time. If we work well together, it's a potential permanent pairing. If we don't, it's better to know. I do like nature walks, I have an atlas and like to visit unusual places in the Enclosure, if that appeals. How's your boredom level? I once saw three people ask for hobby suggestions in the space of a week. People get very bored here and I think that is dangerous and corrosive to the psyche.

[mrballisticsdummy]

I have plenty of hobbies. Just...none of them I can indulge in.

But, look, I'm not here to be all buddy buddy with you. You're the one person I was supposed to leave alone.

[14thcommander]

Time to expand the list, then.

[The one person I was supposed to leave alone.]

Warren told you that?

[mrballisticsdummy]

No, I had a chat with the Admiral himself and set up ground rules.

Yes, Warren.

And I am in no way bored. I have plenty keeping me occupied. Or well, I will soon.

[14thcommander]

[He's protective...] How sweet.

I am sorry to say that if you're trying to persuade me to leave you alone for the month, saying things like that is not going to do the job.

[mrballisticsdummy]

Oh, now I've got your attention with vague promises of something nefarious?

I'm just reading.

I've already been to Zero. Don't really want to go back.

[14thcommander]

You had my attention from the start. And you still have it. How do you feel about cliff diving?

[mrballisticsdummy]

Neutral. Not really how I get my thrills.

Why are you doing this anyway?

[14thcommander]

Approaching you specifically, or the job in general?

[mrballisticsdummy]

Me specifically. You don't want to work with me.

[14thcommander]

I don't know that yet.

Believe it or not, Warren didn't tell me that much. He wanted to abnegate from interfering between us in case of a pairing. I found that fair.

[mrballisticsdummy]

Fair enough. But it would save you a lot of time if you'd just listen to me about it. But first thing's first - we're not talking about Warren.

I fucking hate all of his so-called friends here. The last one that tried to play that angle with me found himself sans hands.

So! I thought we were settling on an activity since I'm apparently not stimulated enough for your liking.

[14thcommander]

[A muffled cough, actually a muffled giggle. I fucking hate all of his so-called friends. Hange is one of those, but she won't take it personally.]

Okaaaay. [Brightly:] I can show you a titan!

[mrballisticsdummy]

[He knows very well. He just doesn't want to hear it.

But - ]

Titan?

1/2

[14thcommander]

They're enormous humanoids from my world that relentlessly devour other humans... ranging from three to around sixty meters tall... insentient beings that subsist off of photosynthesizing...

[14thcommander]

So, you wanna see?

[mrballisticsdummy]

...yeah, actually.

[14thcommander]

Yeah! In the wild or restrained? Or we can do both!

[mrballisticsdummy]

Hey, this is your field trip, Ms. Frizzle. I'm just along for the ride.