"Oh, god," he mumbles, grabbing a fresh drink before he starts. "So Yunlan's permanent inmate is Sephiroth, right? Apparently he convinced Sephiroth to share his weird mutant blood with him for..." He shrugs both shoulders bodily. "Reasons, he didn't elaborate and I didn't care to ask. Only it turns out him, Zack and Cloud, some bullshit in the thing that makes them super-soldiers is seriously lethal for normal humans - like fucking Yunlan, and it started being symptomatic on the Clipper. He got it healed when we all got back, but when Shen Wei saw him, they got into an argument about it and Shen Wei decided to try killing Sephiroth over it."
"And Shen Wei and Yunlan are a thing, right? Huh."
He can sort of understand the sentiment. He knows his relationship with Warren borders on obsessive - an unhealthy amount of obsessive - sometimes. And when Warren did something fully stupid with Ulla and got hurt, Jacobi had been pissed for weeks. He still didn't murder anyone, but the sentiment was there.
"Still not Yunlan's fault, no matter how much forethought didn't go into a royally idiotic plan. And...how old is Shen Wei? If he's a weird alien thing?"
"I'd say Shen Wei's right to be upset about Yunlan putting himself in harm's way for no good reason, but the takeaway being that he ought to murder Sephiroth for it is entirely on Shen Wei." Jacobi has the right to be upset when Warren does something dangerous, after all.
"And according to Ye Zun, they're both about ten thousand years old."
He lets out a loud groan. "So the twins are child soldiers, right? Apparently Shen Wei was one of the good guys-" with heavy airquotes with his free hand, because seriously. "-so obviously he's just a complete emotional fuck-up."
"Oh, I know I'm good at it," he snorts wryly. "That's half the problem, since no one else in this clusterfuck apparently is." He takes another good-sized swig. "Maybe it's a cultural thing to bottle it up as badly as that, who knows."
"Yeah, but he went in the direction you're supposed to go. You're fucked up for a million years and then you go to a magical space prison and get better."
He reaches over to tap Tim's glass. "Drink more and it'll make sense."
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He can sort of understand the sentiment. He knows his relationship with Warren borders on obsessive - an unhealthy amount of obsessive - sometimes. And when Warren did something fully stupid with Ulla and got hurt, Jacobi had been pissed for weeks. He still didn't murder anyone, but the sentiment was there.
"Still not Yunlan's fault, no matter how much forethought didn't go into a royally idiotic plan. And...how old is Shen Wei? If he's a weird alien thing?"
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"And according to Ye Zun, they're both about ten thousand years old."
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He crosses his legs in Tim's lap, boggling a little at the age. He can't fathom that sort of lifespan, let alone what that might do to someone.
"So not only is he robbing the cradle, he had ten thousand years to get his shit together and decided to be a villain instead?"
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He shrugs. "Well, emotional stuff is something you're good at. Even if you think you aren't."
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He reaches over to tap Tim's glass. "Drink more and it'll make sense."