"Daniel would've known about Elias just as well as you," he mutters, turning his face away. "Probably better if he was as short-sighted as Jon made him sound. Didn't stop him choosing to do it anyway."
Jacobi nods once. "Yeah, the choice is - that's the important part." He sits back, spreading his hands out a bit. But when that doesn't work, when they don't support his weight, he just falls back onto his blankets. "How long are you going to stay before you try and sneak your way out of here?"
It's Tim's turn to look concerned, and he rolls onto his side, reaches over to rest his hand on Jacobi's arm, stroking gently with his thumb. It doesn't take much of a leap, even as foggy as his head is.
Jacobi shies away from his touch, from the words. "It's fine, Tim. I didn't have to kill him."
But he remembers scrubbing blood from his nails in the shower. He remembers the sounds that he made and the way Jon gripped him in the end. "Get some rest. We'll go to Jon when I'm a little more sober."
"Fucking slander," he mumbles, but it's almost a smile. It takes effort, and more pain, but he manages to roll onto his stomach to give his screaming back a break from the pressure and textures. His arm stays flopped off the bed, fingers brushing Jacobi's blanket. But he lets himself slip back into exhaustion, his next words a trailing mumble. "'m a bloody gentleman..."
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"Fuck. Why?" he wonders. "He doesn't seem the type. I mean, I don't know him, so maybe he is."
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He loves Jon.
He loves Jon. But even in his drunken state, he knows how Jon can be. And he's met Elias.
He knows how Elias can be.
"So he went and used him like you thought he would do to me," he mutters. "Only I wasn't dumb enough to actually keep going."
Idiot seems better than coward.
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"I will. Whenever you want. He's - not awake yet."
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"I'm so sorry, Jacobi."
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But he remembers scrubbing blood from his nails in the shower. He remembers the sounds that he made and the way Jon gripped him in the end. "Get some rest. We'll go to Jon when I'm a little more sober."
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"Jacobi, listen. There wasn't another way it was going to end. Jon knew that. It's not. Your. Fault."
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Of course it's his fault. He might not have been able to prevent this, but he was supposed to protect Jon. He failed him.
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"Last one. Promise." Then he'll leave you to wallow, Jacobi, he just has to know. "Who...?"
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"Want your bed back?"
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