Some of it was you. Not just about you, but in your voice, things
you've said to him or about him. When I asked about one piece of it, he
was infuriating, but I suppose I still appreciated the perspective.
First job I ever had with him, we ended up in this basement when things just go wrong. Like, really wrong. Super wrong. This prototype, explosive demolition device gets armed, and it's about to blow our faces off. And that? Is my job. To make sure that it doesn't. So Kepler turns to me and he says,'Mr. Jacobi, please take that thing apart, quick as you like." And I - I freeze. I'd never seen anything like that thing. I had no idea how to begin disarming it. So I tell him that we should do the manly thing and, well, run for our lives. But I'm sure you know by now that he didn't let that fly. You know what Kepler does? He goes to the door and he locks us in. And he turns to me, and says, 'Go take that bomb apart.'
[He pauses.]
So I did. And we were fine.
But I was fucking pissed at him for weeks. He could have killed us.
[She laughs. Really, it fits right in with the part of Kepler's
file that she brought up after listening. Which she'll admit to
Jacobi.]
I asked him about when you said, 'He knows potential when he sees it. And
he knows how to push.' I wanted to know if that was how he planned on
looking at me.
Ugh, probably. I used to tell people that because, well, it's true, but also to make them think that he's not as big of a dick as he really is.
He's going to tell you that he's going to help you, that he wants you to be the best version of yourself, or some bullshit like that. But what's really going to happen is that you're going to end up fighting against him because he's gotta be full of shit, right?
And then you end up being the best fucking whatever the hell you want to be because of him. And then you have to look at his stupid smug face because, once again, he was right.
He said he didn't expect me to trust him, then spouted a lot of things I'd
have to trust him to believe.
That he'll never take my magic from me, no matter what I do with it, for
instance. That he wants this to be a partnership, despite knowing how my
last partnership ended. He says he isn't going to push me unless I
want him to, as if anyone has ever cared what I want. The list goes
on.
[She isn't touching on some of the more painful things he said.
Like that he cares about her, or that she deserves better than
anyone has ever offered her, or that he wants her to be happy. Those are
so unfathomable that she can't possibly trust them.]
Eh, the magic thing is true. That's just how he is. You don't have to trust it if you don't want to, but if you fuck up and get the disappointed face or the disappointed talk, you might wish he'd just take your magic instead.
The rest of it? It'll just take time. I didn't believe it at first, either.
[And he tries to sound hopeful for her sake, but truthfully, hearing the bit about partnership hits a little hard with Jacobi, who isn't really sure where he falls on their own partnership. It's hard to say that she can trust him in that when Jacobi is still a little lost on it.]
But - he is going to push you. Just so you know. You're just not going to realize that he's pushing you. And it's not in a lying or deceptive way? But he's just not going to let up until you get what you want.
Oh my god, no. But he was like that as an inmate, too. And in real life. He doesn't ever stay still. Or if it he, it's because he's' got a million things going on in his crazy train brain.
Honestly, he's exhausting sometimes. Feel free to tell him to buzz off sometimes. I think you probably could get away with that.
I could also ask him to teach me more instruments when I want to stop
talking. [That strategy should last awhile, on both their parts.
She has her priorities, and music is almost always a good reprieve.]
He said that when he read my file, he was fighting the urge to ask for your
help destroying a castle underwater. I wouldn't want that; I'll
take my own revenge. But he seemed as sincere as anyone ever does.
[If Ulla doesn't wholly believe Kepler wants to help her, it's
because she doesn't believe in anyone. It isn't personal.]
Yeah, humans are always going to be suspicious of shit they don't understand or can't classify. But...hey. If we go to your world, we'll fuck shit up. You lead, I'll follow.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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He read mine. It was a trade.
Some of it was you. Not just about you, but in your voice, things you've said to him or about him. When I asked about one piece of it, he was infuriating, but I suppose I still appreciated the perspective.
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Did the file go through our first mission?
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[To be fair, it isn't hard to make Ulla angry. She has a lot of sore points, these days, and Kepler hits too close to home.]
No, there weren't any details about that.
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[He pauses.]
So I did. And we were fine.
But I was fucking pissed at him for weeks. He could have killed us.
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[She laughs. Really, it fits right in with the part of Kepler's file that she brought up after listening. Which she'll admit to Jacobi.]
I asked him about when you said, 'He knows potential when he sees it. And he knows how to push.' I wanted to know if that was how he planned on looking at me.
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He's going to tell you that he's going to help you, that he wants you to be the best version of yourself, or some bullshit like that. But what's really going to happen is that you're going to end up fighting against him because he's gotta be full of shit, right?
And then you end up being the best fucking whatever the hell you want to be because of him. And then you have to look at his stupid smug face because, once again, he was right.
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He said he didn't expect me to trust him, then spouted a lot of things I'd have to trust him to believe.
That he'll never take my magic from me, no matter what I do with it, for instance. That he wants this to be a partnership, despite knowing how my last partnership ended. He says he isn't going to push me unless I want him to, as if anyone has ever cared what I want. The list goes on.
[She isn't touching on some of the more painful things he said. Like that he cares about her, or that she deserves better than anyone has ever offered her, or that he wants her to be happy. Those are so unfathomable that she can't possibly trust them.]
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The rest of it? It'll just take time. I didn't believe it at first, either.
[And he tries to sound hopeful for her sake, but truthfully, hearing the bit about partnership hits a little hard with Jacobi, who isn't really sure where he falls on their own partnership. It's hard to say that she can trust him in that when Jacobi is still a little lost on it.]
But - he is going to push you. Just so you know. You're just not going to realize that he's pushing you. And it's not in a lying or deceptive way? But he's just not going to let up until you get what you want.
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[Ulla just looks doubtful at the idea of time being enough to overcome all her distrust.]
I assumed he would. Otherwise what is he doing as my warden? He doesn't seem like the sort to sit idle.
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Oh my god, no. But he was like that as an inmate, too. And in real life. He doesn't ever stay still. Or if it he, it's because he's' got a million things going on in his crazy train brain.
Honestly, he's exhausting sometimes. Feel free to tell him to buzz off sometimes. I think you probably could get away with that.
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I could also ask him to teach me more instruments when I want to stop talking. [That strategy should last awhile, on both their parts. She has her priorities, and music is almost always a good reprieve.]
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Funk is a musical genre? [She's never heard the word before.]
I'm not surprised he played in a band.
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I'd gathered that. And you would certainly know.
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And hey. If there's anything I can do, even if it's just to try and get you a little peace and quiet for a while?
I will.
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He said that when he read my file, he was fighting the urge to ask for your help destroying a castle underwater. I wouldn't want that; I'll take my own revenge. But he seemed as sincere as anyone ever does.
[If Ulla doesn't wholly believe Kepler wants to help her, it's because she doesn't believe in anyone. It isn't personal.]
Thank you.
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Okay, wait. Let me amend that. If you want my help destroying a castle underwater, I would absolutely help you.
Or if you just want to destroy anything underwater.
I'm so game.
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I'll bear the offer in mind.
Can you even breathe underwater? [No, there's no technology that lets humans do that in her world.]
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[Wait.]
We can carry air in small tanks underwater.
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That's useful. Humans haven't come up with that idea in my world.
Some are so suspicious of magic, though, that it's for the best they can't get at anyone who lives under the waves.
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The trait isn't confined to humans, unfortunately. Sildroher can be every bit as judgmental.
[It isn't the phrasing she would have used, but...] Shit could use fucking up.
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Hell yeah.