"Maybe I wanted to get a lay of the land," he says with a single twitch of an eyebrow, "see what you addressed first. And to be fair? It gave me some useful information."
He takes his feet off the table and sits up straight, looks over at Jacobi and makes sure he has his eyes before he continues.
"I was angry. And I am hurt. You have damaged the trust I have in you when it comes to certain things."
He holds up a finger, because he wants this clear.
"Not when it comes to your feelings. Not when it comes to your commitment. But. when it comes to things like treating me like a partner? Or letting me in? Or considering the cost of my pain."
He spreads his hands.
"It's not because I want to. However. Trusting you blindly after... well, after what you've done? It isn't fair to you? Or me. What could that trust mean. if you don't have to uphold it? How could you trust what I would say if I didn't let you know exactly what that stunt of yours did? It'd just have you wondering: is he angry at me? Does he really trust me? Does he really give a shit?"
He shakes his head.
"And we're not doing that. Not anymore. The fact is? I will tell you. exactly where you are with me. And what I say is what I mean. No games. No... holding back. I told you I'd see you in a week. And at the end of that week, I was there. I didn't talk to you because, I thought, maybe if you see what it's like when you aren't able to, you'll be less likely to do it when I'm right there. But don't think I enjoyed any of that.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2021-08-27 03:38 am (UTC)He takes his feet off the table and sits up straight, looks over at Jacobi and makes sure he has his eyes before he continues.
"I was angry. And I am hurt. You have damaged the trust I have in you when it comes to certain things."
He holds up a finger, because he wants this clear.
"Not when it comes to your feelings. Not when it comes to your commitment. But. when it comes to things like treating me like a partner? Or letting me in? Or considering the cost of my pain."
He spreads his hands.
"It's not because I want to. However. Trusting you blindly after... well, after what you've done? It isn't fair to you? Or me. What could that trust mean. if you don't have to uphold it? How could you trust what I would say if I didn't let you know exactly what that stunt of yours did? It'd just have you wondering: is he angry at me? Does he really trust me? Does he really give a shit?"
He shakes his head.
"And we're not doing that. Not anymore. The fact is? I will tell you. exactly where you are with me. And what I say is what I mean. No games. No... holding back. I told you I'd see you in a week. And at the end of that week, I was there. I didn't talk to you because, I thought, maybe if you see what it's like when you aren't able to, you'll be less likely to do it when I'm right there. But don't think I enjoyed any of that.
"I didn't."